Blog: Approx TWO METRES High

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You find me this morning a little wobbly, a little FREAKED OUT, and also a little (even) more STYLISH than usual.

For LO! I have got me some NEW GLASSES! I'd had my old ones for about seven or eight YEARS and they were in the final stages of complete collapse - they hung on my face at an angle of about 20 degrees so i was going Boggly Eyed (medical terminology), they slipped down my face so i spent half my day shoving them back up again, and the plastic on the ear bits was all frayed and falling up so they kept getting caught on my hair and HURTING. They have served me well, but it was time for new ones, so last week The Lense In My Spectacles went with me to BOOTS to get the replacements. It was Quite Good as it turns out that mine eyes have deteriorated MUCH less than usual - it must be all that Staring Meaningfully Into The Distance, Deep In Thought that i do on such a regular basis.

Some might also point out that i am off to my Brother's Wedding in AUSTRALIA next week and so might wish to get some smart new glasses for that. AS IF! Do i look like the sort of person who cares about their appearance? Actually, don't answer that, NO reply would make me look good.

Anyway, I got a call this morning to say one of my TWO pairs were in so i popped along and got them on. As ever with new glasses the world is a bit WEIRD - it feels like i'm standing on a SLOPE, for instance, as these ones are un-wonky, and the pavement feels slightly too far away. Also these ones are made from a different material to my last pair, so it feels like there's a GLOWING HALO all around the edge of my vision, so that everybody I see looks a bit like KRYSTAL CARRINGTON in Dynasty.

I'm well chuffed with them, I must say - they're similar to the old ones, but look a little more RESPECTABLE. To be FRANK, they make me look a bit like an AUTHOR having his picture taken for the back of a BOOK. It is all i can do to stop myself cradling my chin in my hand and looking pensive.

COINCIDENTALLY i am having my picture taken at the weekend - someone' coming to The Fuzztival on Saturday to take a picture for my COLUMN in SANDMAN. That worked out rather nicely, didn't it? What? No, of COURSE it is a coincidence, leave me alone! You're getting in my LIGHT!

posted 26/10/2006 by MJ Hibbett

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