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Blog: Under The Boardwalk

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It was HO! for SHEFFIELD for me on Friday night, as i got on a VERY crowded train North - why is it trains are SO packed these days? I've REALLY noticed it just lately, it's not that long ago that you could almost always get a double seat to yourself on most train journeys, now it is a FITE to get a seat AT ALL. I ended up in The Quiet Coach, where a VERY pompous old tosser told me off A LOT because my phone went off - "GET OUT!" he said. The pillock. Personally i think Quiet Coaches WOULD be OK if we lived in a world where you actually HAD a choice about which carriage you sit in, and you could idly trip through the train taking your time to choose your Travelling Environment. This is clearly NOT the case, so The Quiet Coach seems now to exist ONLY to give people a reason to get ANNOYED with each other - coming home this morning from Middlesborough there were TWO MORE instances of Quiet Coach RAGE, the first where someone rather satisfyingly told a nosy beaked old sod that, actually, HE was making more noise saying "This IS the Quiet Coach you know", but the second where a man who had been talking VERY quietly into his phone was A Bit Rude to the lady taking the rubbish away. I reckon if you DON'T want to hear the noise of OTHER HUMAN BEINGS then perhaps Public Transport is NOT for you.

Although, of course, i DO still think people who insist on playing bloody awful music loudly through tinny mobile phones whilst looking around gormlessly daring someone to challenge them about it should be tied by the legs to the back of the train and then dragged along until they say sorry, and mean it. That's only sensible.

ANYWAY, i got to Sheffield in EXCELLENT time (due to the LOONEY restrictions on When You Can Leave London By Train... but I think we've had enough MY THORTS ON THE RAILWAY NETWORK for today) so checked in at the venue and went off for some TEA. When I got back we found that BOTH The Fighting Cocks AND most of The Validators were stuck in traffic and would be an hour or so late. I went to the bar to get a beer, and waited... and waited... and waited while the two women working there pointedly ignored me. After five minutes of SMILING and EYEBROW RAISING i said "Er... are you serving at all?" "WE DON'T OPEN TILL HALF PAST" one of them GLARED at me - thanks for telling me! GRR!!

Things PERKED UP when Mr F A Machine arrived and we popped round the corner to the pub. As we walked in I was amazed to find that everyone looked EITHER like my Grandad Bertie (who came from Sheffield) OR Richard Hawley. Other points of note were a) you know how people claim that all pubs smell of farts since the smoking ban, but hardly any of the do? This one REALLY DID. However b) they had STONES BITTER on draught, which was tipple of choice for my Grandad Bike, so we HAD some, also a CHAT.

Back at the venue there was still a lack of BANDS, but there were PEOPLE - Warren, Ellen and James, Brother-in-law to THE TIGER were there, and we were soon joined by Lizzie and Steph and then, slightly later, VLADS and COCKS. There wasn't any time for soundchecks so as SOON as the first band had finished we had to RUSH the stage, get set up, and then do THIS:
  • The Gay Train
  • My Boss Was In An Indie Band Once
  • We Can Start Having Fun
  • Being Happy Doesn't Make You Stupid
  • The Fight For History
  • Do The Indie Kid
  • The Lesson Of The Smiths
  • Easily Impressed

  • It was all a bit RAMSHACKLE, especially the DEBUT PERFORMANCE of We Can Start Having Fun, but good fun, ending with the TRADITIONAL Frankie's Had A Drink SPECTACLE of me and he LEANING into each other, ROCKING OUT. OH YEAH!

    After us The Fighting Cocks were MAJESTIC as ever, and I had a good old SINGALONG. It was like a Greatest Hits of Band Members, with a CROSS SECTION of members through the ages, and it was GRATE!

    Afterwards i sprinted round saying goodbye to everybody through the medium of HUGS, much to Tim's distaste as he wanted to get HOME, and off we sped into the night, full of one pound fifty John Smiths and ROCK.

    posted 15/10/2007 by MJ Hibbett

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    Next time a Validators gig in Sheffield coincides with Grimsby playing at home I will try to remember that I actually have a choice. And I will choose ROCK.

    Especially if Grimsby keep insisting on losing at home to Rochdale.
    posted 15/10/2007 by Pete Green

    Smart move doing Easily Impressed due to "The trams of Sheffield!" line :) Twas a great night all round and great to see the full Vlads line up, and to see the likes of Ellen, James, Lizzie and Steph.

    Some odd looks from people during the avant jazz freakout of "Do The Indie Kid" who hadn't a clue!!
    posted 16/10/2007 by Warren

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