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Thus it was that yesterday the Trees In My Forest and I got on the TOOB and headed EAST for Theydon Bois - it's only about 15 minutes on the Central Line for us, but it's AMAZING to go such a short distance and suddenly find yourself in THE COUNTRYSIDE. It's also WEIRD to leave the dinky little Country Station and turn around to see a dirty great CENTRAL LINE TRAIN behind you, it's like tripping through a field of corn to find an OFF LICENCE slap in the middle. It was lovely though, we went to the VILLAGE BAKERS and got SUPPLIES (including an ICED BUN - aaah, is there anything so indicative of Simple Good Times than an ICED BUN? I rather think not) and headed off into THE FOREST!
We had a LOVELY time - a three and a half hour STOMP through FOREST and WOODS and lots of MUD. I tell you what though, one thing i have noticed about WALKS that you do from GUIDES (this was one we got off the interweb, from the Epping Forest Guardian) is that always seem to they TAIL OFF massively towards the end. They start off with "As you leave the station car park you will note, 17 microns to the left of a carbon atom, a cluster of hdyrogen. Step one nano-metre forward to see the station master's dog, Albert, looking at you with a curious mix of disdain and laughter, as you note the curtains in the house three doors along" and by the end it's got to "WALK FAR. SEE ROAD. WALK LONG. HOME." and this was NO exception. It took us without FAULT for the first three or four miles, and then suddenly it got massively vague and we found ourselves in an CAR PARK OF ODDNESS, full of single blokes sitting looking dodgy in their cars in the middle of nowhere. It was ODD.
We also saw Ambresbury Banks, which apparently is an old Iron Age Fort but, frankly, has seen better days. MUCH more excitingly we went past a DEER sanctuary, and having PEERED through one part of the fence for ages to no avail, suddenly saw a massive HERD of DOES, grazing and looking PICTURESQUE. THEN we walked a bit further and saw the STAGS, looking like proper DEER off of the TELLY. It was all very exciting. Also i got my foot stuck in some MUD up to my ankle, which is an essential part of any Proper Walk, and had a DELICIOUS PINT of BEER in a PROPER PUB when we got back to Theydon Bois.
It was lovely - when i was a YOUTH my parents used to FORCE us out on these sort of walks, and it always felt like a DRAG but now as an ADULT it is a JOY. Perhaps it is the DELIGHTFUL COMPANY i get to have with me these days, and perhaps it is also the fact that we get to eat ICE BUNS and drink BEER too, but it is LOVELY.
Today i am finally watching LORD OF THE RINGS on DVD what i got for Christmas. It's SORT OF similar.
posted 25/3/2005 by MJ Hibbett
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