Fanzines and Webpages: Song For Ewe: 'O' Come All Ye Faithful (Adeste Fideles)' by Bob Dylan

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Back in the 1990s, when jeans were ripped, t-shirts were tie-dyed, and there was enough hair to go around, the generally accepted wisdom was that Phil Spector's 'A Christmas Gift For You' was the best Christmas Album Ever. We all went along with this because it seemed so right - everyone loves Motown, from sonic pioneers to tipsy Aunties, and if anything says "Christmas" it's the idea of Kurt Cobain and my Auntie Mavis getting down to The Ronette's version of 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town' - but we all knew that it wasn't quite right. There's something a bit Office Do to the proceedings, and not a good one where you get the afternoon off and a free bar either. It all sounds a bit 6pm in the works canteen on a Tuesday evening thanking The Boss for allowing everyone a single glass of Co-Op sherry. It was almost as if the assembled bands would rather not be making merry with Phil, his temper, and his large arsenal of weapons.

But Lo! Towards the end of the 2000s there came a light in the East (Coast of America), and there was heard news of a Christmas Album from the most unlikely source of all: Mr Bob Dylan. At first this was presumed to be a joke or something. I mean, can you IMAGINE what a Bob Dylan Christmas Album would sound like?

When it eventually arrived it turned out that a Bob Dylan Christmas Album sounded EXACTLY like what you'd imagine a Bob Dylan Christmas Album would sound like. The track I have chosen for A Song For Ewe, 'O' Come All Ye Faithful (Adeste Fideles)' is a perfect example. When I was told that the album existed, I distinctly recall doing a HILARIOUS impersonation of Bob, singing an extremely croaky version of the traditional School Carol Concert finale, with a super cheesy backing track taken from a Two Ronnies Christmas Special. Imagine my delight when I actually heard the album and discovered that not only was that song on there, but that it was a perfect recreation of the version I'd heard in my head. Also, it was AMAZING!

A first listen to the album as a whole is a strange experience. You wonder if it's some kind of crazy joke - can the astounding jollity of 'Must Be Santa' really come from the same genius who did 'Like A Rolling Stone'? Is this whole thing a Weird Al Yankovic parody? Is Actual Bob Dylan really, genuinely, actually, singing 'Christmas Island'?

But then you have a second listen, and a third, and the wondrous joy of the enterprise starts to get through to you. As Bob himself said at the time, this is folk music that everybody in the Western World grew up with, it deserves to be taken seriously and done properly. The melancholy mixed in with the fun of Christmas shines through on songs like 'I'll Be Home for Christmas' and 'The Christmas Blues', everyone who considers themselves a musician should have a version of 'Winter Wonderland' in their back pocket, and only a deranged curmudgeon could fail to raise a glass to Bob as he wishes us, from the heart, a 'Merry Little Christmas'. It truly is a work of sincere and staggering beauty that says more about what it is to be human than 99.999% of all recorded popular music ever.

In my house this album goes on the CD player first thing in the morning on December 1st and STAYS there for the rest of the year (it's on right now as I'm typing this) and I can honestly say, after eight years of spending 8.33% of the calendar listening to it, I can never see myself not wanting to. It is not only the best Christmas Album ever made, it is the best Bob Dylan album ever made too, as this SCIENTIFIC CHART demonstrably shows.


Fig One: Best Albums By Bob Dylaniness And Christmassiness

What I'm saying is, if you have never heard this album you need to stop what you're doing and go and listen to it IMMEDIATELY. But be ready - once you have allowed The Bob Dylan Christmas Album into your heart, you will find yourself buying it for your friends and family to ensure that there is always a copy close to hand throughout December. Which reminds me, what time does Amazon close?

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