What's On Stage 2011: I Am The Alpha Male

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Last night we had one of the hardest audiences of all - a large group of slightly drunk, very boisterous teenagers of mixed gender.

It's the mixed gender bit that causes the problems, as everyone's just that little bit more giddy and wanting to impress, so the boys keep trying to show off while the girls make themselves more aloof. If you're not careful you can end up with the boys getting angry with you, the performer, for taking the attention away, so you have to let them get involved. On the other hand, if you give too much of the show to them then you lose what you were originally intending to do, and let down the other, less boisterous, people who've come especially to see you.

It's hard work balancing it all, but after decades of playing in pubs I've learnt that the main trick is to make sure that everyone knows you're in charge. One time this involved me grabbing a stage invader by the throat and physically taking him back down to the audience, but last night all it required was a stern "SHH!" ten minutes in and the occasional Alpha Male stance, and they were fine.

And once they were settled down the show went off in an exciting and new direction, with huge sing-along’s, raucous laughter, and even a couple of genuinely witty heckles (and also one lad who kept shouting "Arse!" but you can't win them all). We lost a couple of the quieter moments, but at the end of the show they all came out with huge grins on their faces having had a lovely time.

It was a reminder that you can't choose your audience, especially on the Free Fringe, and that if you accept who you've got you can make it work for everybody. Mind you, it was a bit knackering - now I know why teachers need so much time off!

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