Blog: Financial Wizardry

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In amongst all the INSANE ROCK and GLAMOUR that constitutes the bulk of my daily life there are of course brief glimpses of NORMALCY and that - just now, for instance, i have been and opened myself a Building Society Account! OH YEAH!

I've not had a savings account since i was about 10, largely because I've never really had any spare CA$H but now, thanks mostly to the CARE and TEACHINGS of The Sorting Code On My Bank Account, I am actually OUT OF DEBT with a tiny bit of money left over. Now, normally this would be the signal to RELEASE A RECORD, but this time I thought I'd investigate whether THE HIBBETT HUNDRED(S) could be more wisely invested, preferably in an account where it was really difficult to get at the money. As I spent part of yesterday thinking "Maybe i SHOULD get myself another guitar?" i thought it was best if i took action SWIFTLY.

THUS i went to the Chelsea Building Society, MOSTLY because they come top in all sorts of surveys, but also because... well, because it sounds POSH. In much the same way that you always get the best Indian Food in the restaurants that Indian people eat in, and the best BEER in pubs where men with pipes, moustaches and their own tankards DRINK in, I reasoned the best place to put my money would be where THE RICH PEOPLE put theirs.

I was not disappointed when I visited my new branch. After me there came an Well Spoken Elderly Lady , who was dealt with Very Nicely by The Nice Young People who made up the staff. "AHA!" i thought, "OLD MONEY!" While we were being dealt with a RIGHT ARSEY COW came in who DEMANDED to be served, despite both tellers being engaged. She waited for TWO MINUTES shaking her head and tutting, then DEMANDED to know the name of the manager ("NOT the Assistant Manager! The MANAGER!"), complained BITTERLY about having to wait (in a bank, in a city, at lunchtime), BARGED in front and forced the woman dealing with ME to deal with HER, and then made a BIG SHOW of counting out all her money, to make sure she had not been STIFFED. "AHA!" I thought once more "The Self-Importance and Need For Recognition of The Recently Rich! WELL have i chosen!"

When all was done they gave me a Paying In Book, which was MOST exciting - although i was slightly disappointed to find it didn't say "MASTER Mark John Hibbett" on the front, nor did I get a free clipboard or Griffin Savers Dictionary. Still, I was pleased with my FINANCIAL ACUMEN i went and got my lunch from BOOTS, utilising my MEAL DEAL card to get - oh yes! - A! FREE! LUNCH!!

QUAKE, oh ye LORDS OF FINANCE, for LO! There art a new DEITY on the scene!

posted 22/8/2006 by MJ Hibbett

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