Blog: Where is The Bronzed Adonis?

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It was a STRENUOUS weekend of ACTION - i spent all day Saturday painting my new room (it looks SWELLEGANT) breaking off only to plumb in the dishwasher which, slightly disappointingly, took about 10 minutes, most of which involved me reading the instructions out to The Landlady. OK, i've still got to go and buy a SPIGOT to finish the job properly, as currently the out-flow pipe is dangling into the sink like a washing machine in a student house, but still, i had hoped for more.

Being so MANLY meant i spent my DOWN TIME watching SPORTS - Freeview Sports! The Israel/Russia game was on Sky Sports 1, which we do not have, BUT there was also coverage on Sky Sports News, which is ALWAYS BRILLIANT. You don't watch the game itself, oh no, you watch an Excited Middle-Aged Journalist as HE watches it on Sky Sports 1, occasionally remembering to say what's going on. The BEST bit of all was when they went from his report ("Well it's OOOOH NO... been AH! YES! AH! Sorry, what?") to a report on The Devastated Scotland Fans. The presented was being all serious, whilst in the background you still hear the Excited Middle-Aged Journalist LAUGHING MANICALLY as Plucky Little Israel tried to score again. The idea, i think, is to say "Look how EXCITING and BRILLIANT it is having Sky Sports!" and IT WORKS.

Later on in the evening we watched THE DARTS on ITV4. Not many people realise there even IS an ITV4 but there it was, LIVE from Wolverhampton. My Nan used to LOVE the Darts, it was second only to SNOOKER which, looking back, seems odd for someone who almost never went into a pub, and so i have racked up MANY hours watching it so was able to EXPLAIN as we went along. I was amazed to find that it has SPED UP rather dramatically, with players seeming to be trying to throw ARROWS into the back of each others head when they go up to collect their darts from the board. There have also been some FRANKLY RISIBLE attempts to GLAM IT UP - there's a massive flashing scoreboard, big entrances, theme tunes, and HARD HITTING FACT PROFILES. "Favourite Drink: LAGER" seems to pop up quite a lot, and it's all a bit ODD for a bunch of Blokes From The Pub. They all look the same age, although some are frighteningly young, especially my favourite who was from the Netherlands. His nickname: "The Excellent Dude". I somehow doubt that was his REAL nickname...

posted 19/11/2007 by MJ Hibbett

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Comments:

I'm always slightly intimidated when someone says "arrows" for darts, because that makes them more manly and pub-wise than I.
Whcih also reminds me that the darts team at the railway inn, winchester had a blind guy, or something.
posted 19/11/2007 by ray k is foreign

In about 2001 Grimsby loaned a striker from FC Copenhagen. They drove him in from Humberside Airport and in his first interview with the local paper he told the fans he was going to be our "golden dude".

Foreign people are ace!
posted 19/11/2007 by Pete Green

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