Blog: Networking For The Terrified

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I seem to have finished work several times this year, and did it AGANE on Monday. I finished getting paid in May but stopped going in full-time in April, having agreed with my boss that I'd pop back and do the days I owed him as and when it was needed, so as to make sure the project we were working on got finished properly. Hence on Monday I did the LAST of these days, and made it official with a Manly Handshake and proper goodbye. I've got to go back IN to take back my keys at some point, but I think this counts as the LAST last time I'm there!

I'd spent most of the day being reminded why I LOATHED SPSS so much (for those who don't know, it's a Stats package designed by statisticians to be INCREDIBLY PAINFUL TO USE) so I thought I deserved a Relaxing Pint afterwards. Luckily I was popping into The King & Queen because I'd forgotten to pay them for the room for Totally Acoustic last week and, even though they hadn't realised, thought I ought. I thus got to sit in one of my favourite pubs in London and ponder a) what had just FINALLY finished and b) where I was off to next.

For LO! after a bit of a MONTH of endings - work, the MA, the internship, and DREAMS of HOLLYWOOD - I was heading on to something NEW. As one of the (many) people who'd sold sketches and/or gags to the last series of Newsjack I'd been invited to the Writers' Briefing, where they tell everyone what the NEXT series is going to be like. It was being held downstairs in the Albany, and when I arrived I spent a happy five minutes identifying the Lonely Writer Types there for the meeting - mostly men, mostly pale, mostly middle-aged (or at least middle-aged looking), nursing a pint on their own and looking at their phones. How I chortled as I sat there alone with my pint and phone!

I was soon joined by Mr J Dredge, so we went downstairs and were ALSO joined by Mr H Carr. My WORST FEAR of this sort of thing is being the ONLY PERSON stood on their own with no-one to talk to, so sat between these two, and with them chatting to others too, I felt like a PLAYA!

The first half of the talk was about slight changes to the format of the show, and what sort of thing they'd be looking for, while the second half was a Q&A with some writers. It was VERY interesting, especially the fact that not only was there a CLEAR ROUTE from sending in sketches, to SELLING sketches, to getting invited to the writers room, to getting COMMISSIONED, and then to (i surmise) HOLLYWOOD, but they happily talked about it as a THING. This is more career planning than I ever had in 20 years of ROCK, or indeed of 20 years of a Proper Career!

Afterwards we went upstairs for further chat but before long the other two had gone home and so I was left alone. I'd only really spoken to Harry and John and thus had done NO NETWORKING. I knew that this is pretty much the POINT of this sort of thing but it TERRIFIES me. I decided to seek advice, so texted home to ask The People In My Gathering whether I should a) network b) just come home. I rather hoped she'd say "come home!" and give me an excuse to do so, but instead she said "Network! But come home if it's horrible."

I gritted my teeth, threw myself back in... and it was FINE. I spotted someone else lurking at the edge looking TERRIFIED and purely by BEING NEXT TO HIM encouraged him to... well, get away from me and go and talk to someone more important. I got a beer and tried again, this time standing next to a conversation and gently merging into it. I believe this is how confident people do it, and it seemed to work, and soon I had had a PERFECTLY PLEASANT CHAT and been introduced to both the Producers of the show. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!

It was all going swimmingly at this point so I thought the best thing to do was GET OUTTA THERE before I said something dreadful OR got horribly drunk OR broke something. Thus I got to leave with my head held high, feeling I'd made a decent start on this next bit. Now all I need to do is write some Hilarious And Topical Sketches!

posted 16/9/2014 by MJ Hibbett

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Comments:

I feel your pain when it comes to SPSS. It's utterly horrid.
posted 16/9/2014 by Warren.

Lucky you. Keep submitting to Newsjack and have yet to get a piece on the air...
posted 16/9/2014 by Merman

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