Blog: Everything Everywhere

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I went to the PICTURES at the weekend to see the film "Everything Everywhere All At Once". It was advertised as being funny and about the multiverse, which is pretty much the dictionary definition of Right Up My Street, and indeed I can confirm that it was so far up my street that it was parked outside my house obstructing access to the pavement.

Before I even got INTO the cinema, however, there was a Delightful Incident. I booked my seat using one of those MACHINES they have nowadays, but got a bit confused about where the FRONT of the cinema was. I like to sit RIGHT near the front when I go on my own, as it means I can stretch my legs and go to the loo whenever I want, so I selected what I thought was the front row but then realised there were more seats, so scrolled up and selected the actual front row instead. I paid and was a bit surprised to find it was a LOT more - DOUBLE in fact - than the advertised "£6.99 any time" but assumed that the "any time" had some caveats and headed for the escalators up to the main bit of the cinema.

I'd just got ON the escalator when a small girl chased after me, waving a piece of paper. "You forgot your ticket!" she said. "Poor sweet foolish child," I thought, "I've got my ticket right here!" Being the DELIGHT what I am, however, I ran back down the escalator towards her and grabbed it, thanking her profusely as I did so. It was only as I ascended the moving staircase that i realised that, hang on, maybe this IS my ticket, and I'd actually pressed the "select seat" twice rather than "move seat". I didn't hold out much hope for sorting it out, but asked on the way into the screens and was directed towards The Manager. She looked a) harassed b) barely into her twenties, but she appraised the situation and then just SORTED it in about 20 seconds. I was AMAZED and DELIGHTED at this Efficient And Entirely Satisfactory Interaction, although she did seem a bit surprised by quite how pleased I was. Well done, Stratford vue Cinema!

The film itself was obviously FAB. Apart from the description at the top I had no idea what it was going to be like, and was a bit disappointed at first that it seemed to be a Normal Film about a family running a laundromat, with only very brief hints of Science Fiction. HOWEVER. That soon began to change, and then it changed A LOT before becoming an UTTERLY GRATE parade of BIG IDEAS and also HUGE FUN. There is one gag in PARTICULAR that at first seemd to be Just A Bit Of Fun, then became an HILARIOUS PARODY, but then paid off MASSIVELY as an Actual Huge Part of the entire film. People who Have Seen The Film: I mean the bit that starts with her hands not working. People Who Have Not Seen the Film: GO AND SEE THE FILM.

I'm not ENTIRELY sure that I've fully got to grips with how the main idea of swapping over universes works, but I don't really mind as SO MUCH of it had SO MUCH in it. There were loads of other excellent gags which, again, kept on going as part of the film, and I don't think I have ever become quite so emotionally involved in two rocks before. Or googly eyes. Or a racoon. Or... oh you get the idea, it is ACE!

As is my WONT, as soon as I got out at the end I looked up the REVIEWS and was surprised to see that The British Press had been a bit down on it. Why I was surprised I do not know - this is the same The British Press who have started EVERY review of ANYTHING even vaguely related to superheroes for the past decade with "It looks like the Marvel bubble is finally bursting" and cry out for "imaginative film making" then give five stars to yet another DULL SOBFEST about Poor People made by Extremely Posh People. It's all a bit dreary, but it surprises me every time. STILL, let's not worry about that for now, as THIS review is giving it ALL THE STARS and advising you heartily to go and see it, as it is GRATE!

posted 8/6/2022 by MJ Hibbett

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