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Songs: People Who Stand In The Door

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When I'm entering a shop
There they are
When I'm leaving
There are even more
Disembarking a train
Boarding a plane
People who stand in the door

It's the fact that they
Don't seem to care
That they're not the only people
Who are there
A bunch of gateway solipsists
Who think that no-one else exists
People who stand in the door

It's not like they've got an excuse
It's not a technology that is new
Since man emerged from the caves
We've been cursed with a plague
Of people who stand in the door
People who stand in the door

At least those who stop
At the bottom or the top
Of the escalator
Might be let off if they're Cornish
And they've never ever seen one before

Because they only used to have one
Escalator
Though nowadays they've got a few more
Whereas everywhere you go
From Penzance to Truro
There's about a million billion bloody doors

So let people who stand in the door
Consider themselves duly warned
Next time my way is blocked
On public transport or a shop
I will not keep my counsel anymore
With people who stand in the door

I will pointedly point out that it's a door
And if that hint is blithely ignored
I will very clearly say
You're standing in the way
To people who stand in the door
People who stand in the door
People who stand in the door
People who stand in the door are the worst
People who stand in the door


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

On Wednesday 11 May 2022 I popped to the shops at lunchtime. Leaving Westfield shopping at approximately 2.30pm I had to navigate round someone who had stopped in the middle of a doorway for a chat. This winds me up absolutely no end - don't they know how doors work? Do they think they are frames in which to present themselves? I get this at work a lot as I have always worked in Universities, and it often appears that there are youths who have never learnt the proper function of doors and just SIT in front of them, and they are probably the sames ones who sit on the floor on trains even when there are seats.

Anyway. I went home and wrote down why this annoyed me so much, and then toyed with the words over the afternoon. After work I recorded what I thought was going to be a rough version, with the general idea that I'd do a sort of Bangin' House Remix of it, like it was an old tune I'd found or something. However, I then proceeded to get into the tune itself and recorded guitar and vocals, mixed it, and realised that I liked it how it was. The whole thing was finished before 6pm, which makes it about 3.5 hours from original idea to recording. Songs are peasy!


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