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Songs: We're Not Thieves, We're Connoisseurs

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We're sampling the contents of this shop
And if we like them then we'll say so on our blog
The shop will thank us when all of our friends
Come around and clear it out of stock again

We're not thieves, we're connoisseurs
Sampling the contents of the world
And when you say that we should pay
We will laugh in your face
Har! Har! Har!

Cos Tesco and Sainsbury rip us off
So it must be the same for this here village shop
They all have a huge mark-up, they're all dead rich
I saw somebody prove it on a facebook link

We're not thieves, we're connoisseurs
Sampling the contents of the world
If they ask for a living wage
We will laugh in their face
Har! Har! Har!

The world has changed, don't you know it?
This financial model is outmoded
I'm not to blame for their closure
We gave them valuable exposure

Instead of complaining that they're poor
Why don't cornershops go out on tour?
Everyone'd love it, it'd totally work
I'd definitely come and buy a t-shirt
About the shop
From another shop
Next to the shop
It's all just about shops really.

We're not thieves, we're connoisseurs
Sampling the contents of the world
And if you try to regulate
We will laugh in your face
Har! Har! Har!

Up yours!


Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

This is a CUNNING SATIRE on some of the arguments in favour of the moral authority of music piracy. It's a funny old song to do live because sometimes people TOTALLY get it and there's a HUGE LARF at the "It's all just about shops" line. Other times people don't twig at ALL and there is SILENCE. Generally, the geekier the audience, the more likely the laugh!


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